Kickstarting Conversations with Students
Starting meaningful conversations with students can be surprisingly hard. How do you encourage students to engage with you or ask the questions you know they have without feeling like you’re doing all the work? At the beginning of the year especially, your students will, no doubt, be quiet. The silence, literal or virtual, may feel deafening, or you may react as we sometimes did: This is a gift. We can tend to the many other things on our plates.
However, even in the busiest seasons, we challenge ourselves to reach out to each individual student at least once a week (for context, we typically have 35-ish students in our classes). It can be hard to know where to start, so we found it’s helpful to have some “go-to” questions you can ask each student to begin building trust and generating conversations.
When we assigned daily homework, students would, theoretically, read and think about a text before class, where we would lead discussions, review homework, lecture, give quizzes, and show an occasional movie. The only students we had time to help one-on-one were those who were willing to ask questions in front of the entire class, send an email, or come in for tutoring. Unfortunately, most students, especially those who need the most help, are reluctant to do these things.
As we began to prioritize having students do more of their work during class, however, it freed us up to have more individual interactions with students.
As we began to prioritize having students do more of their work during class, however, it freed us up to have more individual interactions with students.
Personal Check-In Conversations with Students
An easy way to start building relationships with students is to ask, “How are you doing today?” or ask about their interests: maybe you noticed a band sticker on their Chromebook, they’re wearing a shirt with your favorite Disney character on it, or you see they are on a school team or in a club. Students may respond with a simple, one-word answer, but sometimes they open up about what’s going on in their lives, especially if you have access to a program like GoGuardian that allows you to chat privately.
Many times, this is just a way to let students know you care: they notice you continue to check in even if they don’t share much, or what you say reminds them you’re a human, too, and they ask about you. It also serves as an icebreaker that opens the door for them to ask a question about their work. Once you know your students better, you can add in a question like, “Are you okay? You seemed a little different the past couple days / upset / not like yourself.” This, again, shows students you care and can lead to important conversations.

Content-Related Check-In Conversations with Students
If you’re looking to have a more “academic” conversation with students, but the assignment is fairly straightforward or it’s early in the year, it can help to ask something like, “What are you reading?” or “What do you think of the text so far?” Students may share interesting insights, but it’s also another way to keep building a relationship without being too invasive.
Are You Working? Conversations with Students
Sometimes, we get concerned because students should be asking questions, but they’re not. When this happens, we’ll often ask something like, “What number are you on?,” “How far have you gotten?” or “Do the directions make sense?” For some students, this opens the door for them to ask a question. For others, it’s a gentle reminder to get to work. And for you, it’s a helpful gauge of where students are: maybe they’re moving slower or genuinely do need less help than you expected.
Are You on the Right Track? Conversations with Students
When students are working on something like an essay or project, we often ask what topic they have chosen, what adjectives they have selected to describe a character, or what their thesis statement is. This can serve as a progress check or reminder to get working for students who need it, and it definitely gets students to start asking questions, especially if you give them revision suggestions. It also allows you to provide focused individual feedback you wouldn’t be able to offer in a traditional classroom setting.
Growth Check-In Conversations with Students
This can be a great opportunity to follow up with individual students about their grades and/or missing assignments. It never fails to amaze us how many times students make no effort to make up an assignment (or tell you about a problem), even if there have been notes in the gradebook for weeks. We might say something like, “I was just looking over the gradebook, and I noticed you still haven’t turned in X. Do you need any help getting that completed?” If a student says no, it’s helpful to say something like, “Great! When can I expect to have it turned in?”
Depending on your class, conversations with students about how they are doing in their other classes or asking them to set a goal for the week can build rapport, letting them know you’re there to support them as individuals, and you’re not just concerned about what happens in your class.
It’s also an opportunity to share some of your own ways of getting things done: “You know, I don’t like grading, but I make myself do it for at least 20 minutes every day; if you don’t like reading, maybe you could try something similar,” or “You know, if you don’t like the book you’re reading independently, ditch it. There are too many good books to spend time on the bad ones. Do you need help picking one out?”
As you begin to have more frequent, meaningful conversations with students, you’ll develop your own go-to list, making the most of this valuable opportunity to maximize your ever-limited class time. Considering asking your students some of these questions this week. Let us know how it goes!