Takeaways from The Price of Privilege
As educators, we have been told repeatedly we must prioritize our at-risk students and do everything possible to help them succeed. We take special classes in our credential programs to learn strategies for working with English Learners and students on Individualized Education Plans (IEPs). Our schools have systems in place for students with behavioral problems, low grades, and, increasingly, mental health issues. And these are all real needs: we need to pay attention to these students. But it’s important to remember that even our students who seem to have it all together may be struggling, too.
In The Price of Privilege, psychologist Madeline Levine explores the growing number of unhappy teenagers coming through her practice from affluent homes, students who seem, on the surface, to be doing just fine: the risk factors we’re trained to look for aren’t readily apparent, financial and academic resources aren’t a problem, they may even be strong students with active social lives. And yet, these teenagers are deeply unhappy, struggling with a wide variety of emotional issues and engaging in self-destructive behaviors. Even though it was written in 2006, Levine’s words will resonate with anyone who has spent time in a 2023 classroom (and, honestly, create a sense of unease as we consider how much the world has changed since 2006):
While many of these teens are verbal and psychologically aware, they don’t seem to know themselves very well. They lack practical skills for navigating out in the world; they can be easily frustrated or impulsive; and they have trouble anticipating the consequences of their actions. They are overly dependent on the opinions of parents, teachers, coaches, and peers and frequently rely on others, not only to pave the way on difficult tasks but to grease the wheels of everyday life as well (5–6).
The Price of Privilege is a worthwhile read for any middle or high school teacher, especially if you work in an affluent community. Steph’s been working as a private tutor this past year, and many of her students could easily be Levine’s clients. There’s a lot to think about, but here are five key takeaways we wanted to highlight:
#1 It’s not just our “at-risk” students who need our help.
Modern life in America, with its competitive college culture and access to pretty much anything with a single click, places massive pressure on developing teenagers and makes it all too easy for our students to avoid developing the independence they need to grow into healthy adults. We do our students a disservice when we assume that they are okay just because things seem okay on the surface. No single teacher can address all the physical, social, mental, and emotional needs of their students, but awareness makes a difference in the way we run our classrooms, plan our lessons, and engage with our students.
#2 The competitive college culture is hurting our students.
College has become so competitive that it places enormous pressure on teenagers. They must earn top grades in the hardest classes, participate in an abundance of extracurricular activities, and not only know what they want to do for the rest of their lives, but have a resume of activities and accomplishments supporting that interest. It’s wildly unhealthy, and it’s no wonder our students are struggling. While this is a systemic issue that can’t be fixed at the classroom level (and as long as it exists, we want to prepare students for college the best we can), we can remind students they have value beyond their grades and resumes, that making mistakes in high school does not disqualify them from building a life worth living, and that there are paths to success outside of the Ivy League.
#3 The primary work of adolescence is developing a self.
Our students are figuring out who they are, what they want, what they enjoy. Healthy adolescents are developing a sense of independence, an awareness that they are capable of navigating their own lives and managing their own impulses, an ability to be generous and loving toward others. How can we create classroom cultures that encourage students to develop these skills, to explore the world around them and learn more about themselves? Where are we inadvertently getting in the way of this important work?
#4 Students need warmth and boundaries.
Levine offers strategies for parents to meet these needs, but it’s important for teachers, too. It’s tempting, especially as we see our students struggling, to relax our rules, to err on the side of grace, to prioritize relationships over discipline. But students need boundaries to help them grow into healthy adults. They need to experience consequences when they make unwise decisions. And when there are never boundaries or consequences for their actions, students perceive this as nobody caring about them or what they do.
#5 Whether you’re a parent or an educator, you will be most effective when you have your own needs met and are not looking to your children (or students) to meet those needs.
We must be happy and healthy enough ourselves that we can serve as coaches and guides to our students, not needing their approval, achievement, or friendship to determine our own self-worth. This is why, as teachers, we have to take care of ourselves. The phrase “Self-care is not selfish” is repeated so often now that it seems like a cliché, but it’s true. We must set boundaries with our work, take care of our own physical and mental health, and cultivate relationships outside of school and the classroom not just for ourselves, but so that we can help our students grow into the people they are capable of becoming.
Do Levine’s words resonate with you like they did with us? How do you see your students struggling to do the work of creating an authentic self? Reach out to us at [email protected] or on Instagram @threeheads.works, or better yet, share this with a coworker and discuss it over coffee or at your next PLC meeting.